Is performance anxiety getting the best of you? Are you overwhelmed with panic at the thought of competing in front of others? Do your limbs become a bundle of nerves and your stomach a knot of butterflies come game time? We know the feeling. And we’re here to help! In this new three-part series, we’re sharing our best tips to help you navigate those meddlesome feelings of self-doubt and fear, and reduce your anxiety when you’re under pressure.

Follow us here on the blog or on Facebook/Twitter for 3 tips on managing anxiety during the month of April.

Here’s our 1st tip…

Tip #1: Focus On What You Can Control

Imagine you’re standing at the free-throw line, palms sweaty under a blinking scoreboard of 65-65. All eyes on you as the game-winning point rests on your next shot. Feeling anxious? In these situations, more often than not, our brains immediately seize on the “what if’s” of the scenario and zero-in on variables outside our control. This leads to nerves, panic, agitation, stress and tension—ultimately interfering with the quality of your performance.

Next time you find yourself at the free-throw line, or preparing for any high-pressure performance, try this exercise:

Create a list of all the elements about your performance that are within your control. List things like the amount of effort you’ve put into preparing/training, your attitude, mindset and perspective, your skills, etc.

Create a list of all the elements that are out of your control. These might include skill level of the opponent, the weather, quality of the field/facility, decisions of your coaching staff, etc.

CONTROLLABLES:

1. Your effort
2. Preparation
3. Mindset
4. Attitude
5. How you manage the uncontrollables!
6. Time-management
7. What you focus on

UNCONTROLLABLES:

1. Equipment
2. Facilities
3. Skill level of the opponent
4. Coaching decisions
5. Order of the line-up

Take a moment to focus on what you can control, instead of what you can’t. Doing this will help reduce performance anxiety so that you can kick, pitch, bat, swing, bike, shoot, dive, sing, act, drum, and perform at your best. Next time you feel nervous before a competition, practice shifting your focus to the CONTROLLABLES and letting go of the uncontrollables!

A recent article in the Los Angeles Times sheds light on the prevalence of coaches who bully their athletes. In fact, a UK study (highlighted in that article) found that up to 75% of the 6000 athletes they interviewed (that’s 4,500 people!) had suffered some sort of emotional harm via their coach at least once. 75% is a significant number, and regardless of whether you’re a parent, athlete, or spectator, it’s probably something you’ve seen before.

It may be difficult to think of a coach as anything other than a mentor, but being a bully isn’t simply defined by age or playgrounds. A bully is anyone who has perceived power over another individual. Obviously, there is a natural hierarchy of leadership in a coach-team relationship, but that doesn’t mean that yelling, name-calling, or insulting behavior is acceptable either. In the article, Karen Kaplan writes that there are signs to be on the lookout for:

“A coach who justifies his behavior by saying he has always talked to players this way and it has helped the team win….A coach who blames his victims by implying his athletes forced him to be harsh because they weren’t up to snuff. A coach who, when accused of one type of bullying behavior, shifts the focus to something much worse that he didn’t do. A coach who escalates the situation by daring the athlete to quit if he or she (or his or her parents) doesn’t like the way the coach runs things.”

Here’s what our sport psychologists had to say…

What are some good ways for a parent or athlete to approach their coach or deal with bullying if they suspect or feel as though it may be a problem?

Dr. Carly Anderson:

“I would recommend that the parent approach the coach and express their concern and the behaviors that are bothersome to them. It is important to ensure that the athlete is not at risk of retribution by the coach for the parent coming forward. If the coach is unable or unwilling to discontinue the bullying behaviors, then it may be time to consider finding a new coach. Certainly if the bullying looks like abuse, it should be reported. Parents and athletes should not have to tolerate justifications for bullying or threats, and should be leery if the bullying seems to be an ‘accepted’ part of your child’s sport environment. Especially with young athletes, being bullied by an “authority” figure like a coach can be detrimental to self-esteem, confidence, well-being and sport enjoyment.”

Dr. Justin Anderson:

“In youth sport, my recommendation would be to talk with the coach directly. Share some observations and concerns. I wouldn’t accuse the coach right out of the gate, but I would share how your child is receiving his/her messages. In higher level sports (e.g., high school), I would recommend having direct communication with the Athletic Director. Share your concerns and how your son/daughter is perceiving the behavior. Sometimes the AD’s are unaware of the behaviors and so it is important to bring it to their attention.”

How does coaching in pro sports differ from coaching at the youth level? Why might yelling or what may be perceived as bully behavior be more acceptable in these situations?

Dr. Justin Anderson:

“Coaching at the pro level is a very different job than coaching at the youth or high school levels. For instance, yelling and getting into adult athletes’ faces can create some motivation and therefore it can be an appropriate approach at the pro level. However, at the youth and high school sport level, yelling and getting in players faces doesn’t help motivate. It often has the opposite effect long term and can de-motivate athletes and lead to burnout. We strongly recommend that youth and high school coaches set realistic expectations and hold their athletes accountable, but do it with a teaching style versus a yelling style.”

What is a good way for a parent to discuss and process the athlete’s feelings and thoughts concerning the bullying?

Dr. Alexandra Wagener:

“It is essential to allow and encourage your child to talk about his or her bullying experience in a safe environment. Empathize and listen to your child without judgment. It is important to remind your child that while he or she experienced someone who was a bully, there are still many people in the world that are full of kindness and compassion, and following in their footsteps is encouraged. Beginning to move forward one step at a time, working together, and reminding yourself and your child that he or she is resilient can help in the healing process.”

In conclusion, the act of bullying is quite prevalent. However, just because it’s “popular” doesn’t mean that it has to be an accepted behavior. It may be difficult or uncomfortable, but for the sake of your (or your athlete’s) mental health, it’s important to speak up. No win is worth the damaging effects of being bullied.

We’ve all been there: a negative state of mind when the game isn’t going well. It’s easy to get to that place, too. It starts with an error, a bad play, or some missed shots. Before you know it, your athletes are walking away from the competition with their heads hung low. If there’s anything that has the ability to spread quickly and to set in and take hold in our minds, it’s negative thinking. However, there is a silver lining. Dr. Justin Anderson, a licensed sport psychologist, has some key advice for coaches:

“The best thing that you can do for your athletes when they’ve hit a rough patch is to simplify the game. Give them one task to focus on; one goal that they can attain. It’s important to bring their minds back to one task that is important now.”

He suggests that instead of focusing on the end result, a win, break it down by giving your athletes a goal: getting positive yardage on the next drive or a defensive stand before the period runs out. When your athletes are in the moment and focusing on what they need to do right then and there, they’re going to perform much differently. When athletes have goals to build on, they can start building some really good momentum. He furthers this with a couple of quotes from Coach John Wooden, who is not only famous for his NCAA wins, but also for his many poignant, inspiring words:

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”

In his years of being an athlete and a sport psychologist, Dr. Justin knows how easy it is for an athlete to get overwhelmed. Coaches sometimes focus too much on the negative. It’s obvious that as a coach, your goals for your athletes are to have them compete well and to hopefully win, but it doesn’t always improve your athletes’ performance when they’re being drilled on what they’re doing wrong.

“The players already know that they aren’t supposed to fumble or that they’re supposed to make their shots. As a coach, you need to make a point to tell them what to do instead of what not to do.”

Next time your athletes are down, take a deep breath, and bring them back up. Give them a moment to be in. Know that your athletes have the ability to perform better and that looking toward success instead of pointing out failures is what can bring out the best in them. Small victories can easily boost morale and be a huge game changer. Keep the goal simple, but make sure that it’s something they can build on–getting that positive momentum going can be crucial.