We’ve all had it, that niggling voice that discourages us before or during competition.  Self-talk is our inner narrator, and when it directs our attention to destructive thoughts or feelings, it can deep-six our performance levels.  Thankfully, mindfulness training teaches us an easy way to strip power from this kind of talk, and separate ourselves from its consequences.

Mindfulness teaches us to shift away our attention away from analysis or judgement, and toward observation and acceptance.  An analytical mind evaluates and reacts.  It examines the past, it anticipates the future.  It worries and it avoids.  The observing mindset merely notices and accepts.  It doesn’t get hooked by negativity or try to change an undesirable thought or event, it neutralizes it by letting it pass by, like a leaf in a stream.

“I’m not good enough,” is a prototypical example of negative self-talk and, like nearly all negative self-talk, it’s analytical.  It’s an assessment of our value and, left to its own devices, it will have a negative impact on our self-regard and our performance.

To neutralize the negative impact of this kind of self-talk, we’re going to shift to an observing mindset and separate ourselves from this thought by adding two simple clauses.

1. Add “I’m having the thought that…” to the beginning of the negative self-talk.
2. Add “I noticed…” to the beginning of the first clause.

Thus, “I’m not good enough” becomes, “I noticed I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”

Voila.  Much less powerful, much less overwhelming, and a much more accurate representation of what is really happening in our minds.

It’s essential to remember that no matter how persuasive our negative self-talk might sound, these are just thoughts.  They’re not facts or actualities; they’re just things that drift through our heads in moments of pressure or doubt.  It’s okay to notice and accept them.  They’re normal.  We all have thoughts like these.  But we needn’t believe them, fight them, or wonder where they came from.  We can give them their moment, and let them pass us by, like the leaf in the stream.

To become resilient, routine and mental health are paramount.  Let’s dive into a practice that achieves both, and create a Healthy Daily Mental Health Routine.

Morning Routine: Set Your Intention

Starting the day with an intention can be a very positive, a very important first step.  So often, we just wake up and we let the day, and the stress of the day, hit us without thinking of how we want to be, how we want to respond.

Some of the best athletes and the best leaders that I’ve worked with set their intention for the day when they wake up in the morning.  They think through what the day might look like.  They think through how they want to navigate it, how they want to be.

They can’t control what comes at them, but they can control how they want to respond, and the type of person that they want to be—living more closely to their values, being the leader that they want to be.  By setting that intention, they’re giving their minds direction on how to handle that daily stress, or the emotion they feel when it comes.

Setting an intention can be an important component to anybody.  Not only will it help performance, but it also can help with well-being.  So often we’re dealing with anxiety and depression, and a lot of that is because we’re attending to things that don’t give us joy.  Don’t give us happiness.  Don’t give us meaning.

Even in tough times, we can focus on things that are worthwhile.  And when we take that perspective, and we align our minds with that perspective, we can walk through those challenges much more easily.

It’s that easy and it’s that difficult.  But it takes a routine, and it takes consistency to do it.

Breaking Ruts

When people wake up in a rut, or in a depressed state, one thing that we recommend people do is just act differently.  Choose a behavior that’s different from the behaviors that have gotten them into that state of mind.

If we can act differently, and focus our attention on acting differently, we often start to feel different.

I’ll use myself as a case in point.

When I wake up in the morning and I’m overwhelmed by the day, I’m thinking of all the things I have to do and how I’m not prepared to do any of it.  I can stay in that worry, or I can bring my focus back to the present and think, “let’s just get to the shower.  Let’s just get downstairs and get that cup of coffee.  Let’s put my attention less on the entire mountain, and more on the task right in front of me.”  And then, if I can squeeze in some gratitude thinking, and say, “at least I’ve got a great cup of coffee in front of me.  At least I have X, Y, or Z,” it starts to shift how I think.

We just have to consistently do it.  It’s not like a light switch.  We have to do it over and over again.  Doing so will move the needle in a more positive direction.  It won’t jump from depression to joy, but it will lift a little weight from your shoulders.

“I feel a little better here after I get out of the shower.  I feel a little better after I get my exercise in.”  When you start stacking these variables on top of one another, you begin to feel and act differently.

The problem is that most people try to take the whole mountain on at once.  They say, “I can’t do it.  It’s too much.”  And when we take it on in its entirety, it is too much.  But if we take it one step at a time, and we say, “look, I can get through this one step.  Even if it’s difficult or painful, I can do it,” and we compartmentalize every step of our day, by the time we get to the end of it we’ll be surprised by how much we accomplished.

It’s the simplicity of bringing the mind back to these present moment tasks that can make a difference in our well-being.

Bedtime Routine

We recommend ending each day with three things for which you are grateful.

When we just spend a little time reflecting on things we’re grateful for, the science tells us it can improve the wiring of our brains, our biochemistry, and even our sleep.

If we can spend even a few moments going through the things we experienced that day that were meaningful to us, that brought value to our lives, then we can enter and leave each day with a much more positive mindset.

Give these practices a try.  Keep at them.  Keep going.

Falling short of your goals?  You’re in good company.  Most do, and the effect is cumulative— missed goals are de-motivators, and the reasons for missing them can quickly become reasons to give up the fight and flatline your progress.

To keep today’s resolutions from becoming tomorrow’s disappointments, follow these five proven enhancers to your goal setting journey.

Set better goals.

The reasons for missed goals fall into one of two categories: there’s a problem with your goal or a problem with your process.  You can cut yourself a break by making sure your goals are reasonable, attainable, and within your control.

Break larger goals into smaller pieces.

Big goals give us a reason to wake up in the morning, so aim big, but the larger your goal, the more likely it will be that it requires a sequence of smaller goals to achieve.  Let your big goal, your outcome goal, be your guiding light, but focus on those smaller process goals to get you there.  Ask yourself, what are three to five things I could do today that would make my ultimate goal more possible?  Start there.

Set deadlines.

“Someday” is a terrible incentivizer, and “right now” isn’t much better.  For each of your goals, set a reasonable, finite timeline for it to be completed.  If it’s a routine goal—a goal you will need to hit repeatedly, like jogging four days each week—set a schedule.  This will ensure that you’re getting moving and staying in motion, without feeling like you need to build your goal empire in a single day.  Persistence is what wins this race, not speed.  Whether hour by hour, day by day, or inch by inch, a consistent commitment is what will get you from where you are to where you want to be.

Focus on Controllables.

Generally speaking, as our goals get larger, they become less controllable.  When possible, choose goals that are entirely within your control, remembering that we can control the process (30 minutes of cardio 4 days per week), but can’t always control the outcome (lose 30 pounds by March).  If you stick with a larger, outcome-based goal, keep your focus on what you can control, and bear in mind the uncontrollables when creating your timeline—make space for the occasional setback or bad hop.

Create accountability.

Post your goals in a prominent place to hold yourself to account, and importantly, tell someone about your goals.  A simple declaration of goals has been shown to have a significant impact on goal attainment, so tell a friend, teammate, coach, or family member, especially one who will support you on your journey.

Simply making it this far into this article is a sign of your conviction to your goals this current or upcoming year.  Direct that conviction toward the  pursuit of your goals, following the five achievement boosters outlined above, and you’ll be celebrating your efforts by the time you read our next article.