In Guy Winch’s TED Talk, “Why we all need to practice emotional first aid,” he proposes the idea that emotional care needs to be as commonplace as physical care. He gives an example of how natural it is for a five-year-old with a cut to put a Band-Aid on it; however, when people are feeling lonely or sad, they are told to brush it off–it is rare that people prioritize their emotional health in any way similar to that of their physical health.

Often, we are taught to be “tough” and to not let our emotions get the best of us; there’s a stigma surrounding emotional reactions, a stigma that is not synonymous with toughness. However, neglecting our mental health comes with a series of difficulties. As Winch shares his story of experiencing loneliness while being apart from his family and friends, he rattles off a few physical complications from his emotional struggle: “Loneliness won’t just make you miserable, it will kill you. I’m not kidding. Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death by 14 percent.Loneliness causes high blood pressure, high cholesterol. It even suppress the functioning of your immune system, making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases. In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together, chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk for your long-term health and longevity as cigarette smoking.” As he later states, one key difference (of many) between the effects of chronic loneliness and cigarette smoking is the recognition of the problem. One can easily say whether they smoke cigarettes: it is a yes or no answer. On the other hand, we may not be able to describe our loneliness, let alone recognize that this loneliness has taken a substantial toll on our lives.

We are constantly juggling numerous emotions, and some of these emotions will be heightened while playing a sport. Therefore, it is crucial that throughout our games and practices we regularly take a few minutes to do a quick self-check and see both where we are physically and where our emotions are. In-between games, for example: Did you go 0-4 at the plate yesterday and are now itching to get a hit? As you’re warming up, is your grip on the bat a little looser because your hands are sweating. Is your heart beating faster than normal before a game? It’s here that we combine our knowledge of the physical self with that of the emotional self. Recognize that those physical signs might stem from anxiety to get that hit. One way to combat anxious feelings is to utilize a few relaxation techniques. Maybe it’s deep breathing that helps calm you down or possibly picturing yourself in a tranquil place returns your heart rate to its resting pace–it could be a combination of the two. No matter your sport, make sure to consistently take time to assess how you are feeling in order to better understand where to focus your energy. Through working on recognizing what you are feeling and practicing what works to transform your stressful emotions into positive and productive feelings, you will be much better equipped to perform at your optimal level.

For months, our kids’ attention has been on sticks, skates, homework and tests. Now that summer’s in sight, it’s our job as parents to offer the right mix of structure, free time and support – which will go a long way to helping them relax, recharge and have fun.

“Recovery time is very important for sustainability of motivation in sport for the long run,” said Dr. Justin Anderson, a sports psychologist with the University of Minnesota and owner of Edina-based Premier Sports Psychology, PLLC [sic]. “I work with a number of professional athletes and they all scatter as soon as the season ends. They’ll take several weeks to rest physically and mentally – they want that down time to keep their motivation high.

“They actually get through that time and want to come back,” he continued. “Nothing is more important to growth and performance than intrinsic motivation. Otherwise, burnout is likely to happen.”

Read the full article: How to Get Kids to Pay Attention — Minnesota Hockey

Seconds tick by on the clock like hours.  It feels like the game is already over.  You’re down – both in score and morale.  So what’s the point?  Why bother?  Why keep playing?

 Well, as Yogi Berra once put it, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”

Thanks Yogi, but we all know how difficult it can be in these moments to maintain optimism and enthusiasm – especially when no one else around us is doing it either.  So what can we do about it?

In any given event, our emotions are going to get triggered.  It’s natural to have an immediate knee-jerk (emotional) reaction.  In these situations, we tend to get hooked and caught up in the emotions themselves rather than focusing on what’s happening in the present moment and our stake in the outcome.  However, those who focus more on their personal control within the situation, and hence, their outward reaction and response, tend to outperform those who focus on the negative (or who allow surrounding negativity to impact their state of being).  In order to be more successful in stressful or critical moments, it’s important to remember 3 key things:

Awareness

Your personal awareness and emotional intelligence is crucial.  We describe emotional intelligence as four interlocking quadrants: 1. Knowing and understanding our own emotions, 2. Knowing and understanding the emotions of others, 3. Managing ourselves and our reactions and 4. Managing our relationships with others.

The greater awareness we have about ourselves and others, the better chance we have at responding to the situation in a way that is more positive and productive.

Acceptance

Embracing that we’re going to be confronted by unexpected circumstances or unfavorable events at any given point in time is key in continuing to shape the response and outcome we truly want.

“Every great change is preceded by chaos.” – Deepak Chopra

Accepting what has already happened can actually offer us an emotional release and an opportunity.  In these moments, if we’re able to stop, reflect and then shift our focus to the control we do have, we decrease our chances of becoming emotionally hooked on past events or mistakes and distracted from the present moment.  At that point, we can focus on our control in the next moments.

And Action

We have an incredible amount of control over the outcome of any given situation – even if it doesn’t feel that way.  When we’re thoughtful and intentional about our outward reactions and the actions we take – despite our emotions – we have a better chance of shifting the outcome in our favor.  Doing so redirects our energy to focus on the control that we have – something far more desirable than feeling powerless and defeated.  It gives us greater confidence in our abilities and helps us to play the game how we want in the present moment (rather than dwelling on the past).  Taking action allows us to move forward.

Overall, it’s important to remember that even if we’re feeling a certain way (e.g., frustrated, exhausted, anxious, etc.), we can still act how we want.  We can show up as our best self, speaking in ways that are positive, engaging with others in ways that are beneficial, and behaving in ways that are going to increase our chances of getting the outcome we want.

Sometimes, we have the odds against us.  But, if we’re pessimistic and focus on what we cannot control, we will be surely defeated without a chance.  We cannot control the hardball thrown at us or the rise of our emotions when we get a strike, AND we can still choose how we want to step up to the plate again, focusing on our swing instead of the score.